I was driving my girls to school this morning. Ellie, my second oldest, was so excited. She had a shadow box that she had made for a report on polar bears. She read me her report on all the interesting facts that she had learned- how they hibernate, and polar bear habitat. Polar bears come out of hibernation in mid March, in case you were wondering. All of you in the Mid-West, be on the look out!
"You want to know something about brown bears?", Ellie asked as we turned on to Rt. 66. "Sure! I thought maybe this was a bonus question. "Moma brown bears have two babies. But one dies, because she can't take care of two. Isn't that sad?, Ellie said with tears in her eyes. Ellie is the daughter full of compassion. Why can't the Daddy just help so they can both live?"
Her comment has stuck with me all day long. Unfortunately, many times human dad's aren't much different than brown bears. I'm not a "male-bashing" kick. This issue is the elephant in the room for our society . Sorry to mix my animal metaphors. But for the sake of success or pure selfishness, many families and their children pay the price.
I live and work on a boys' ranch. I see the affects everyday where daddy's have fathered children, but are never "Daddy". Little boys need their daddy. Little girls need there daddy. Grown men and women need their daddy. Children are dying emotionally everyday because their daddy is gone. Sometimes physically, but often times emotionally. I think it is Robert Lewis that has said that there are three things that I child needs to hear from his dad: (1) "I Love You" (2) "I am Proud of YOU" and (3)"You are IMPORTANT to Me".
Tonight, I started reading the book, QUIET STRENGTH by Tony Dungy. On the inside cover before you ever start reading the book, Tony Dungy gives a quote: " I really wanted to show people that you can win all kinds of ways...For your faith to be more important than your job, for your family to be more important than that job...we all know that's the way it should be...I'm not afraid to say it."
We all "know it to be true", yet so many times we , as men, drop the ball where it matters most. That's with our kids. Ellie is seven years old. She hit it spot on this morning even though she is unaware how profound her seven year old observations were.
Yes, Ellie. It is sad. Fathers need to be Daddys'. I need to put more focus on being a daddy and not so much on a boy's ranch director and camp director. It needs to be number three on my all-time list of priorities right behind my commitment to God and my wife. Job and Other need to come in at four and five. Children need their daddy: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We go to work. We go to the golf course. We go to board meetings and ballgames. I also know that most men want to win. That is why we go as hard as we do. However, we need to re-evaluate our priorities and re-evaluate the importance of the things that we are winning at. Pauletta and Denzel Washington write the foreward to Dungy's book. They say, "It has been said that we are good at whatever we practice." Fathers, it is game-time for our kids. We need to practice everyday to be MVP Daddys!